Chaotic Resolve
by Lioness's Heart
Summary: Ten years after Port Caynn, Beka has found herself in trouble. With nowhere to turn but an old friend who she hasn't seen in years, she has to face the fact that all actions have a price, and hers may have cost her Rosto's friendship...
1. Bittersweet

**Disclaimer: I'm too busy looking for the reset button on Bloodhound, 'cause believe me, there would be Beka/Rosto in it if I'd had my way, so obviously, I'm not Tammy, who owns it all. I only play with her characters.  
A/N: Oh, yes, Lioness has indeed written yet another of those oh-so-annoying (to the people who want updates, that is) oneshots while I'm supposed to be working on my other fics, like Bright Eyes. I'll be getting back to those soon, only this was too good not to write. I wasn't satisfied with the end of Bloodhound, and this sort of popped into my head while I was eating breakfast a week or two after I'd finished the book, when I was thinking about a few random things...but yeah, I'm very happy with it, it's really long, and it's actually rather realistic....anyway, I'll end this rather long author's note now. And don't forget to review. I like reviews. A lot.  


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**Beka Cooper squeezed her eyes shut as the plaintive wails reached her ears. She wished she could go back to sleep and forget any of this had ever happened. She shrugged her light blanket closer to her, a tear leaking out between closed eyelids.

With a sigh, she opened her eyes again and hauled herself out of her bed. Her eyes scanned the room, as happened every day when she rose. The small apartment that she lived in was not in good condition, even with a very brief cursory scan of the room. It was all she could afford, though.

A cynical smile touched her lips for half-second. Oh, how far she had fallen. Ten years ago, she lived across the district on Nipcopper Close. She had been following her dreams and had been a Dog. She had had good friends and people who cared about her. But she had made a few mistakes. Too many mistakes later to count, here she was.

Beka shook her head as she padded over to the crib not too far away from her bed and leaned over it, dangling her fingers in front of the child who was squalling within. When that did not work, she picked her little lad up, bouncing him on her hip.

This was the life she lived every day. She hadn't had a solid night's sleep in months between nightmares and her son. Not that it really mattered most of the time. She wasn't a Dog anymore, and she worked a shift during the day as a guard for whoever had the money to hire her on a good day. It didn't pay much, but for her current lifestyle, it was nearly always enough. She had food and lodgings for herself and enough to pay for what had become a few sparse extravagances, like ink and new quills were to her now.

It had been just over two years since she had been kicked out of the Dogs. Goodwin had tried to prevent it, but there was no one to contradict the charges leveled against her – which had been very much like the ones that had gotten Marks and Tillyard years before. Only it hadn't been her fault. She had gotten knocked out when she had gone after a Rat not five minutes before a riot had started. She had been kicked out the following day by a very sullen Goodwin who had been horrified to order Jewel to cut the bronze insignia off of Beka's uniform. Everyone had seemed sad to watch her go.

After that, everything had gone downhill. She hadn't seen Rosto, Aniki, Kora, or even Ersken in months – no, years. She honestly could not remember how long it had been. Too long, that was for sure. She sighed again as she shifted her weight and gazed down at the little boy in her arms.

Alex blinked at her with bright blue eyes, a slightly chubby finger in his mouth as he watched her. Beka made a face at him and he let out a delighted giggle. She smiled, and continued to play for several moments before she had to get dressed. She paused before she pulled a light green tunic from her clothespress.

Beka closed her eyes and sighed, hanging her head as she remembered what day it was. It had been a bad week for her – she had had one job during the whole week, and it hadn't paid well. She was short on coin for the rent, and it was due that day. There was no way that she could pull the money together, and her landlord did not take kindly to those who repeatedly paid their rent late. He had said if she did it one more time, he would turn her out. If she didn't do something today, she and Alex would be on the streets, and that was the last thing she wanted.

She bit her lip, glancing at the crib where Alex was sitting with a toy dog that Goodwin had given him for his first birthday. She had to do something, for Alex's sake, but what? It wasn't like she could waltz up to the Lord Provost's house and ask for help. Lady Teodorie had made sure of that when Beka had gotten pregnant with Alex. She had forbidden Beka from coming to the house at all, and had made sure that it was enforced.

That meant…the last place she could turn to…was the Rogue…Rosto…

Beka's expression slowly shifted to a frown as she thought about that. It was ironic that the Rogue was the only place she could turn to now. She had been a Dog for years and had arrested more members of the Court of the Rogue than she could count. It seemed like the only option she had at the moment, though. Or the only acceptable one, at least.

For a moment, she chewed on her lip, trying to think of another option. There wasn't one that came to mind. Resigned to the fact that she couldn't avoid it, Beka slipped her tunic on and began to search for the sling she would carry Alex in while she ran a brush through her hair and braided it as swiftly and neatly as she could. When she found it moments later, she proceeded to dress the little one and make sure he was secured in the sling. Then she looked in the mirror and smoothed her ruffled tunic before she let herself out, praying that she would have enough time before she was kicked out.

Surprisingly, she made it out the door without her landlord jumping on her about the rent. That was a relief.

Beka's eyes scanned the crowd and the streets of the Lower City. Years before, she had seen things so differently. Yes, she had struggled to get by at times, but she had always had a good living, particularly with her wages as a Dog. Now, however, she identified with the folk who were in hard times like she was. It was painful, though, to see the black uniform of the Dogs who walked the streets during the day.

By the Dancing Dove finally came into view, Beka's stomach felt like it was in knots and she could not figure out why in the world that was. The butterflies there did not make sense to her – why was she nervous like this? This was Rosto, after all.

He had been her friend for years, not much longer than he had been the Rogue. He wasn't the lazy tyrant Kayfer had been. He took care of the City, and the people in it. He cared. And she hadn't spoken a word to him, though it was completely unintentional, in over three years. He had stopped coming to breakfast, though it was at his own inn, and he had let Aniki take care of the Happy Bag negotiations when the Dogs came.

Now that she thought about it…had he been avoiding her even before then? Aniki, Kora, Ersken, and Phelan had never said a word to her about it. It was like they just assumed that she would know why she was suddenly being snubbed, if that was indeed the case.

Beka stopped a few feet away, looking at the sign over the door for just a moment. At that point, her only hope was that Rosto _was_ there and not out somewhere else on Rogue business. Then again, considering the hour, he could still be in bed for all she knew. After another moment standing there, she steeled herself and pushed the door open.

The room she entered was a common room – it was large and had tables and chairs mainly around the rim. There was also a bar and a kitchen on one side of the large room. In the vague area of the middle, though, by the fireplace, was the Rogue's throne. It was very different from the throne that had been Kayfer's. It wasn't made of crates and tossed together. This was a nice, straight-backed, wooden chair – it was large, with the semblance of the golden throne King Roger sat upon, but it was different still from that. It was not so presumptuous, one might say, she decided. It was really just like the chair that the head of a rich merchant family might use, or a noble in their townhouse.

Beka's attention drifted back to the bar, where there were two people. One of them was a somewhat stocky man who had a doleful expression on his tanned face and in his grey eyes. He was cleaning a glass mug with a clean cloth while he watched Beka. The other person, though, drew her attention even more.

Even from the back, it was clear as to who it was. Long, thick white-blond hair hung a few inches below his shoulders, held back in a horsetail by a simple black hair-tie that caused a striking contrast. His back was turned to her, but she could see that he wore a bright green sleeveless tunic over a black silk shirt and breeches. His black boots were shiny; his left was hooked on one of the legs of the bar stool he sat on. The prints of daggers were visible to her trained eye at his collar, in his boots, and at the small of his back.

Rosto did not move. He continued to scribble away at the paper he was writing on without looking up. He made no motion that even acknowledged her presence in the building. That hurt.

Beka carefully walked over toward where he was. He paused to dip his quill in the inkwell on his right before continuing. A slight frown appeared on Beka's face. He had to have heard her. It wouldn't make sense if he hadn't noticed. Rosto _was_ the Rogue, after all, and he had an excellent sense of hearing. She was just about to open her mouth to address him when he cut her off.

"What do you want, Cooper?" he asked. He didn't move to put his quill down or anything. He kept writing, barely pausing when he spoke.

"How did you know it was me?" she asked in turn. Beka heard him snort, as if he was surprised that she had asked that.

"I lived in the room under yours for a year and a half, Cooper. I know what your footsteps sound like," Rosto replied. The scribbling continued for another moment as she considered that. It had been nearly nine years since they had lived in the same building – it was surprising that he would remember something as small as the sound of her footsteps. "Now what is it that you want?" Beka frowned.

"Do I have to want something to visit an old friend?" she asked. Rosto paused again.

"I haven't seen you in three years. I'm surprised that you've even shown up on my doorstep at all," Rosto said.

"Oh. Well, you're right. I need help, Rosto," Beka said. He put down his quill, then. She could see his left hand clenched into a fist.

"Is that what friends do, Beka?" Rosto asked in a deadly soft tone. His whole body seemed tense by that point. His jaw clenched and unclenched several times. Then he turned to look at her, drawing a gasp to catch in her throat. "And where were you when _I_ needed help?"

Beka was unable to find her voice for several moments. Rosto stared at her with hard sable eyes. He appeared much like he had the last time the last time she had seen him. Except for one thing. Her eyes fixed on the ragged white scar that slashed across his face. It began on the left side of his forehead, nearly at his hairline, and ran through his eyebrow, across the bridge of his nose, and stopped at the edge of the right side of his jawbone.

The scar shocked and scared her. Rosto had always been a vain man, but this scar was not something that fit. It wasn't _right_. The Rosto she knew never would have knowingly kept such an unsightly blemish, because that it was just that – a blemish in his striking features.

"I needed your help, Beka," Rosto said quietly. His eyes softened some, but not much. "Ersken said you would come, but you never did. Why should I help you?" he asked. Muscles in his jaw twitched as he stared at her. There was anger and bitterness beneath the hardness in his eyes.

"What's going on, Rosto?" a voice from the stairs called. Their heads turned when the sound of soft footsteps reached them a split-second later. A buxom redhead appeared seconds later. Her brown eyes flicked from Rosto to Beka and back again. She was very pretty, Beka would admit. This woman did not seem like the usual doxies that Beka had seen around the Rogue over the years, but the cut of her blue-green dress said otherwise.

"Nothing, love," Rosto replied, a slight smile touching his lips. The woman joined him at the bar and placed a kiss on his lips. He chuckled lightly as she put her arms around his neck, pulling back a moment later. They looked at each other for several moments before the woman pulled away and seated herself next to him. Beka watched them uncertainly all the while.

"Rosto, who's this?" the woman asked. Rosto snapped his attention back to Beka. His eyes hardened again as he looked at her.

"This is Rebakah Cooper, or Beka as she prefers to be called. We were friends once, when she was a Dog and I was newly made the Rogue. Cooper, this is Viviana," he said, inclining his head toward the woman. She and Beka regarded each other for a moment.

"What did she want?" Viviana asked, turning to Rosto.

"I wanted to ask Rosto for his help," Beka said quietly before he could respond.

"What for?" the woman asked, quirking an eyebrow at Beka. Beka pursed her lips and looked away for a minute before sighing.

"I can't afford my rent and my landlord is determined to turn me out if I can't pay it today. I haven't been able to pull the money together with the few guard jobs I've had recently," she admitted. She glanced up at Rosto and Viviana to see the former raising his eyebrows at her.

"So you turn to me? I would think you would have gone to one of your friends instead of the Rogue, Cooper," he said. "We're enemies, you know. Dogs and Rats always have been…"

"You haven't heard then?" Beka asked. "I haven't been a Dog in two years – I was kicked out," she told him. Rosto's expression did not change in the slightest.

"You're a Dog all the same. You're a Dog through and through. I know you, Beka. Or I thought I did, at least. Now I repeat: why should I help you when all you did was stab me in the back?" he asked. Beka bit her lip.

"I don't understand, Rosto. What happened?" she asked. Rosto snorted and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the door for a moment before his flashing dark eyes landed on her again.

"I'll enlighten you, then, since you don't seem to remember. I got arrested and taken to Outwalls, Cooper. For no sarden reason. One of the cage Dogs slashed me with a knife before I was thrown into the cell they kept me in. The wound festered – the one that gave me this scar," he paused to indicate the long scar that marred his features. Beka could feel her own jaw slacken as he spoken, and was shocked as he continued.

"I was extremely ill – I nearly died before they even thought to send a healer, and by then it was too late to prevent it from scarring. Ersken visited me once while I was ill. He said that you would help me, that you were going to talk to the Lord Provost for my sake and the sake of the Lower City, because of all that I had done for the city. Ersken said you would come, but you never did, Beka. I was released on the orders of the magistrate, because it became apparent that I had been arrested for no reason. There was no other reason for my release. You did nothing to help me when you said you would. What do I owe you, after that? Why should I help you when you would not help me when it was a matter of life and death?"

Beka stared at Rosto, her mouth slightly open. She didn't know what to say. She didn't _remember_ this at all. In any way, shape, or form, and she had an excellent memory. Her eyes flicked to Viviana, who was leaning against the counter and was looking at Rosto. Her expression showed nothing of her inner thoughts, and her brown eyes were calm. Beka looked back at Rosto, who was still glaring at her with blazing ebony eyes.

"I…I didn't know, Rosto. I don't remember this at all…I didn't know you had been arrested or anything…" she said quietly. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you when you needed help, but I never knew…" Rosto snorted again, rolling his eyes.

"Right. And I'm an angel of the Olorun," he replied scornfully.

"It's the truth, Rosto," Beka told him. Rosto continued to regard her with hard eyes. She could tell that he didn't believe her at all.

"And if that's the case, I'm sure you aren't aware that Aniki was killed last year when there was a raid on the Court of the Rogue by the Dogs?" he inquired icily. Beka's eyes widened as she started at him. She could feel tears forming in her eyes. She hadn't known about that.

"I-I d-didn't…" she stuttered after several moments. Rosto looked somewhat surprised by that.

"Really…and did you know that Phelan killed himself after that?" Beka gasped, her mouth falling open as she stared at him in disbelief. "And-"

"Stop it, Rosto. She's telling the truth. She didn't know," Viviana cut in, putting her hand on his arm. He turned to look at her for several moments as tears began to slip down Beka's face. A moment later, he looked back at Beka, but his expression had changed. Now he looked more concerned, though the bitter glint in his dark eyes had not vanished.

"You really didn't know any of this?" he asked softly. Beka shook her head, trying to hold in her tears. It was not working very well.

"No," she stated, her voice catching on the single word.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Rosto replied. His gaze hit the floor. "But you have to tell me – why do you want my help, Beka?" he asked. She looked back up at him several moments later.

"It isn't for my sake that I want help. If it was just about me, I could deal with it. It's for Alex's sake that I came to ask you for help today," she said softly. She gently removed her son from the sling across her chest so that Rosto could clearly see the little boy. A slight frown appeared on the blond Rogue's face.

It was then that he seemed to see that this was not the woman he had flirted with repeatedly, who he had sulked over, who he had fancied himself in love with. While she was basically the same person, she had had a hard time in the last few years, and she was still hurting deep down. The ratty tunic she wore was one sign of that change, but the look in her eyes, which he hadn't even bothered to see before, was the most predominate change.

"What's happened to you, Beka?" he asked softly, shaking his head just a little. Beka closed her eyes for a moment.

"I made a few mistakes. I got kicked out of the Dogs because they thought I'd abandoned my duty during a riot. I was devastated, and I did some stupid things. By the time I came back to my senses, I was already pregnant with Alex and my life had been turned upside down. I think the only reason I managed to turn it around is that I had someone other than myself to think about, and I couldn't just mourn the loss of my dreams," she said. "I've been getting work as a guard when and where I can, but it's been a bad week for me this week, and I don't have enough. I'm not asking for handouts, Rosto. I just need a little help, and I'll pay you back when I have the coin," Beka finished. There was silence momentarily and she used that time to watch her son. She was surprised that he hadn't begun to cry with all of the tension that had been in the room a few moments before.

"How much do you need?" Rosto asked finally. Beka looked back at him to see him pulling out a purse that he had been keeping inside his tunic. He was waiting for her to respond when Viviana spoke up.

"She could stay here, couldn't she?" the redheaded woman asked. Rosto turned back to her again, as he had so many times already since she had come downstairs. "It's lonely around here without anyone else, Rosto," she said, pouting a little. Beka opened her mouth to object, to say that she didn't want a handout, but Rosto cut her off.

"If you want to, Beka, you can stay here. You'd pay rent just like you would anywhere else, if it makes you feel better. I'll never hear the end of it if I don't offer it to you, at least, but Viviana is right. It's lonely around here without Aniki and Phelan, and Ersken and Kora," he said. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs, sighing again. Beka pursed her lips, biting the lower one a second later. This was not what she had been planning.

"I…I suppose…" she paused, glancing at Alex, who was blinking at her with his wide blue eyes. Her mind was made up. "For Alex's sake, I'll give it a try," she said, her eyes never leaving her son's face. The Dancing Dove would be a better place for him to grow up than in the Cesspool or wherever they ended up, even if the Court of the Rogue met there at night. Rosto nodded to her.

"If that's the case, then we'll need to work out what price your rent will be set at, and what services you'd be willing to offer if you could not fulfill that requirement," he said, half-turning to pull out another piece of paper from beneath the one he had been writing on.

"I'll not be your doxie, Rosto," Beka said immediately. He turned back to her, both eyebrows raised. Viviana chuckled, but said nothing.

"I never said that was part of the deal," he said. "I know how you are about that. Believe me, I know. I tried to get you to for nearly three years before I finally just gave up, remember? I mean things like mending – you were the best sewer in the boarding house, after all - and things like that. What do you say?"

"All right. But only because Alex needs it, and there isn't another choice. I don't want to rely on your charity just because you're my friend. I am sorry for what happened to you, Rosto. If I'd known-" Beka started. Rosto held up his hand, a sort of sorrowful look on his scarred face.

"Don't say it. If you'd have known, you wouldn't have done anything. I'm just the Rogue. That's how it's always been. I get it," he said, shaking his head. "I know that far too well, Beka. Far too well…"

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**A/N: I know, I'm mean for leaving it there. But, don't worry, there's a sequel oneshot to come, based sometime after this one, that should be a little bit happier. And thus, I remind you - review! It'll help me get the sequel written faster! All you have to do is click the pretty green button!**


	2. Blush

**A/N: Lioness is back with another chapter! Yay! I really wasn't expecting to put another chapter up on this, but I've been doing a lot of playing around with it in my head, and thinking about it, and I decided I just couldn't do a randomly posted separate oneshot series. So, this is going to be a story all by itself. I've still got a lot to work out, and a lot to fill in that I wasn't planning on...for example, this chapter was supposed to have a different point in it. But, all in all, I'm very happy, and I think it really builds on Beka and Rosto's reforming relationship. So, enjoy, and don't forget to review!

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**It was late morning when Beka finally woke. What woke her, though, startled her somewhat. Alex was crying. And it seemed like she'd only just gotten to bed a few moments before, for all the sun was shining in through the shutters.

Beka blinked a few times and pushed herself up from bed, trying to clear her mind a little. She had been up very late the night before. Or perhaps it had been very early. More than likely the latter, she decided. She ran a quick hand over her disarrayed hair and pulled herself up from the bed, padding softly over to Alex's crib.

"Mama!" Her son's blue eyes brightened a little as he watched her as seriously as he could with tears in his eyes. Beka smiled, leaning down to pick him up.

"Good morning, Alex," she said, kissing him on the cheek, which was rather moist.

"Mama up!" he said, clapping his hands together. "Hungry," he added, once again regarding her as if she'd done something wrong. Beka chuckled.

"Of course. We'll get you some food in a few minutes," she said. Alex just blinked at her expectantly. She shook her head and put him carefully back in the crib before walking over to her clothespress.

The room around her still shocked her sometimes. After more than six months of living at the Dancing Dove, Beka was still amazed that Rosto let her. He'd been as kind to her as he'd been able to make himself. And Viviana had helped, too. She'd pressured Rosto to help Beka as much as she needed it, even when he was still rather wary of the former Dog. But the soft bed, the large, clean room, complete with a side room for when Alex was big enough to need his own, and even furnishing that were many times better than Beka had seen in years were something she still wasn't accustomed to all the way.

She ran a brush through his disheveled dark blond hair, smoothing it and untangling it as best she could. She'd cut it not too long ago, when she'd gotten annoyed by the length – the vanity itself was still intact, but the braid wasn't nearly as long as it had been. It had just taken too much time when she needed to be caring for her son, and besides, it was more than likely going to get her in trouble if it came uncoiled, as it had been almost down to the ground when unbound. Now, it went almost to her elbows, and was manageable when she braided it, as she was doing at the moment.

Once she tied the plait off, she placed her brush back where it had been and opened one of the drawers and pulled out fresh clothing. She changed swiftly and pulled on her boots, buckling her belt as she returned to her son's crib. Alex watched her expectantly.

"Now?" he asked, wide blue eyes trained on his mother. Beka chuckled again.

"Yes, sweetie, now," she answered, reaching down to pick him up.

"Yay!" Alex declared, clapping his hands together. "Yay, Mama!" he added, giggling at her as she grinned at him and spun around.

There was a knock on her door an instant later, startling her. Beka frowned a little and shifted her son to her hip as she crossed to the door. She unlocked it and paused for just a moment, wondering who it could be. It couldn't be Rosto or Viviana. She rarely saw Rosto, though Viviana did come to see her and Alex frequently. But, Viviana had said that she was going to go shopping that morning when Beka had spoken to her the day before. Rosto, though, kept to himself, which was a change that Beka wasn't sure about. He was still an anomaly to her.

She opened the door to find Rosto leaning his forearm against the frame and waiting expectantly. For just a moment, Beka was startled. She took a step back, alarmed by the sudden proximity. The way he was leaning, he was less than a foot away from her.

"Good morning," she greeted, trying to hide the shock he'd given her. Rosto nodded to her, but was silent for a moment.

"Good morning," he returned. His dark brown eyes were calm and fully fixed on her face. The ragged white scar on his face was even more noticeable at that moment. His pale skin was slightly flushed, as if he'd been doing something before he'd come to see her, though his neat clothing showed no sign of it. He wore a creamy off-white shirt under a crimson tunic, and soft-looking brown breeches with his black boots. Beka had already picked out at least nine knives on his person as she'd made that assessment.

There was silence between them, each refusing to let up their gaze. Beka's jaw clenched and unclenched as he stared at her until he finally broke the silence.

"You've been avoiding me," he said. It was not a question, or an accusation, just a statement. Beka was silent for another moment, trying to think of an answer. She hadn't been avoiding him, per se, but she rarely saw him at all, even when she lived in the same inn. She could hear him talking through the floor, though. Rosto had given her a room on the third story – the second floor that was completely rooms for rent - because it was safer for Alex, and someone was less likely to try to break in when the Rosto's room was on a lower floor. Frequently, she would hear him talking with Viviana late at night if they started to talk louder.

"Umm…" Beka swallowed, trying to find her voice. "I haven't been avoiding you…" she said quietly, her blue eyes slightly wider than usual. Rosto raised a golden brow, tilting his head slightly.

"I haven't seen you in three days, Beka," he told her. There was a knowing look on his face as he looked down at her. "You've been using the back stairway again, haven't you?"

"Maybe…" Beka flushed slightly. "But that doesn't really matter, now does it?" she countered.

"When it comes down to it, I suppose not," Rosto admitted. "But I really would like to see you more than once or twice a week, you know," he told her. Beka peered at him skeptically.

"And why is that?" she asked.

"Does a cove really have to give a reason when he wants to see a friend who he's doing a favor to by letting her stay in his inn?" Rosto replied, raising his own eyebrow as he spoke nonchalantly. Beka gave him a rather annoyed look.

"I have a life, master smarty-britches," she told him. She was already rather annoyed with him. "And I do have a child to take care of," she added as a reminder.

"I'm aware of that, but you still haven't made any sort of appearance in three days. You've been sneaking things out of the kitchen, too, so that you don't have to make a trip down there, haven't you?" he asked. She glared at him.

"No, I have not," she stated firmly. "And you're starting to get on my nerves, Rosto the Piper."

"I apologize. I had no intention of doing so," he said. Beka rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure. And I would also point out that you've been avoiding me, too, if you haven't noticed," she pointed out.

"I wouldn't say that. I've been busy with Rogue business. You know, the things that proved to be too much for you to deal with when I was pursuing you for those first few years?" he asked. Beka considered that for a moment.

"I know. You're still a rusher, so it ain't something that we need to talk about," Beka said. Rosto's eyebrows rose higher.

"Why is it that you've held a grudge this long, Beka?" he asked softly. "It's been what? Twenty years? I'm your friend, and I won't hurt you. You know that," he told her. He reached out to place his hand on her shoulder. Beka flinched back, stiffening. When she did, Rosto's expression changed to a concerned frown.

"Are you doing all right?" he asked. Beka nodded. For a moment, the expression on his face brought memories back to the surface. Memories that she wasn't interesting in reliving.

"I'm fine," she said softly, turning to walk farther into her room.

"No you aren't," Rosto disagreed. A moment later, he was directing her toward the closest place to sit – her bed. Beka put Alex back into his crib (much to his dissatisfaction) and returned to sit next to Rosto. "Now, tell me what's wrong."

Beka looked at Rosto for a moment, the expression of concern – and caring – on his scarred face, and promptly burst into tears. She didn't really know why, but she couldn't help it. She didn't want to cry, much less have Rosto see her cry. A moment later, he was closer than ever and his arms were around her, holding her to his chest as he tried to comfort her. It didn't take long for her to get herself back under control, though: just another moment later, she pulled back and wiped the tears off of her face. She chanced a guilty look at Rosto, who was watching her, concern still evident in his dark eyes.

"Do you think you can tell me now?" he asked softly, reaching out to touch her again. Beka stiffened and recoiled, which confused him all the more.

"You don't want to know," she said softly. Rosto gave her a look for that one – he knew that it was a lie. She wanted to tell someone, but she was reluctant to tell him, and he knew it.

"Beka, I know you're lying," he told her. "It may have been years ago that we were somewhat close, but I still know you, even if I hated you for a little while," he continued with a sigh. He didn't like to admit it, but he had indeed hated her – he'd blamed her for everything that had happened to him, starting with being imprisoned and scarred. Beka frowned at him.

"Is this really _that_ important to you?" she asked. "Why are you so concerned about me right now? I'm not your doxie, and I won't be," she reminded him. Rosto gave her another look – one of annoyance and displeasure.

"I'm not that stupid, Beka, and I haven't made any advances on you since you moved in, have I?" he asked. Beka considered that for a moment.

"No, you haven't…" she trailed off, biting her lip.

"Then why won't you listen to me when I say that I'm not interested in you being my mot," he said. He wasn't lying about that either. Rosto had made it very clear that he wasn't interested in her like that. Instead, he'd been trying to be her friend. It had taken him a couple of months to be able to let go of the bitterness and anger he'd held against her for so long. In the end, though, the attraction was still there. He just wasn't going to admit it – not even to himself.

Maybe if he just ignored it, it would go away.

"And I have Viviana, to begin with, and she's willing enough to fill that position," he added. Beka pursed her lips. "You know, if you tell me, you won't feel so bad about it…"

"You are incorrigible," Beka told him. Rosto smirked at her.

"Wouldn't be me if I wasn't, now would I?" he replied smartly. Beka smacked him on the arm – the first contact she'd made with him so far that she hadn't flinched at. "Ow! Beka…" Rosto gave her a warning look.

"What? That couldn't have hurt _that_ much," she pointed out. Rosto sighed.

"Fine. I'll just leave, then," he said, making a motion to rise from his seat on her bed. An instant later, her hand was on his arm.

"Wait, Rosto. Don't. You're right. I do need to talk about this," she told him in a quiet voice. "But you have to swear that you won't tell anyone – not even Viviana. Please?" Rosto looked at her, a slight crease between his eyebrows. Beka was looking at him, pain in her blue eyes. It was the kind of pain he'd felt before, though it had been long past, at his sister's funeral.

"All right. I won't go," he said, nodding his head a little. A slight smile played on her lips.

"Thank you."

There was a moment of silence after she spoke. Beka closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. She hated how Rosto could make her so scattered – and he didn't always mean to. Those brown eyes of his really didn't help matters…

"Do you remember when I came here, six months ago, to ask for your help, and what I told you then?" she asked. Rosto paused for a moment, then nodded. "Well, I didn't really tell you the whole truth. What I said was true, though. I was kicked out of the Dogs, and I made some bad choices afterwards. I'll start there. It was about…three and a half years ago," she started. Instantly, a frown appeared on Rosto's face.

"About six months after the last time I'd seen you?" he asked suddenly. Beka's own expression changed to one of thought as she considered that.

"I think so. Why?" she asked. Rosto clenched his teeth for a moment, looking away.

"That was about the time I'd been arrested," he told her. There was a moment of silence before Beka finally spoke again.

"Was it…there was a riot, that day. I'd been chasing a Rat, and I got separated from Tunstall – and then I was jumped from behind and hit in the head with something. From what I was told by the mot who found me, I'd probably been there for about three days after that. I'm not really sure what happened, to be perfectly honest. I staggered my way back to my lodgings, which, as you know, I'd moved because Mistress Trout had sold the building," she said. Rosto considered this before he nodded in agreement.

"I think that was just after my arrest," he said. "Ersken told me that they had a riot over the fact that I'd been arrested. The guards who got me apparently had one of those spelled herbal mixtures that can put someone into some sort of trance. You know, the kind that they use to get folk who they're arresting to be obedient until it wears off?" Rosto paused and waited for Beka's affirmative nod. She did know what he meant. "My mind was all fogged up until it was practically too late, anyway," he told her. Beka nodded again.

"No one said anything about your arrest to me," she told him. "My head hurt so bad at that point that the only thing I could do was sleep. Two days later, I was able to go back to the Kennel, and at that point, no one had known where I was for five days, and I'd lost all chances of redeeming myself. I swear I've never seen Goodwin or Tunstall so disappointed. And it was all because of me…" Beka trailed off, tears in her eyes again. "I'd messed up. I hadn't been vigilant, and it was too late by then. The Watch Commander hated me, as it was, and was just looking for an excuse to get rid of me. He ordered Goodwin to do it, and threatened her job, and at least three of the other senior Dogs, Tunstall included," she continued. Rosto reached out and put his hand on hers.

"It's okay, Beka. It's all over and done with," he said softly. Beka tried to force a smile, but failed miserably. His hand on hers was so disturbing. Her skin felt like it was burning, almost repulsed by his touch. But there was also something…almost comforting about it. Either way, it was distracting, and she didn't like that.

"That's part of the problem, Rosto. It's not over and done with. You said six months ago that a Dog is always a Dog. I'm one through and through. I've never wanted anything else, nor do I, even now. But I can't have it. I can't be a Dog anymore, and even if I could, what would happen to Alex if I got myself killed?" she asked him. Rosto pursed his lips.

"That's a worry for another time. You're not a working Dog, and you – and your son – are safe here," he reminded her. Beka nodded, looking down at her lap, where his hand still rested.

After a long moment, he moved his hand, though, in his mind, it was somewhat regretfully that he did so. It had been a long time since they had been this close, and she hadn't really let him touch her in any way since she had come to the Dove, always flinching just out of reach or making an excuse when he would try. Beka took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a split second before continuing.

"Things were a bit of a blur after that," she told him. "Do you remember Dyrian?" she asked. He nodded. "Well, he'd been courting me for several months, as you probably remember. All I remember is that I needed someone to comfort me, and being so desperate and crushed that, honestly, I needed to know that he cared. I had a few drinks – not many, but definitely too many and we ended up in bed together, and a cycle started. It was just like that. Every night. Eventually, he got tired of me and my 'needs,' as he put it. I was still hurting at that point, and it wasn't until a few weeks later that I realized that I was carrying Alex. He was what I needed to turn it around. Dyrian had abandoned me, and I'd been living in the shabbiest part of the City that wasn't the Cesspool. It wasn't pretty, Rosto," she told him. "I know how they live, and I don't want that for Alex," she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

"It's okay, Beka," Rosto told her softly. He was trying to resist touching her again, for her benefit. "If anything happens to you, Alex will be fine. Vi and I can take care of him, and should anything happen to the two of us after that, Kora and Ersken would be more than willing to raise him," he told her. Beka nodded, trying to force her tears away again. Why was it that she could talk to him like this so…so easily? She and Rosto hadn't been friends in years, and suddenly, while they were still trying to figure out if they could be, she was pouring her heart out to him. That just didn't seem right. But, he was right about it – she needed to tell someone, and she hadn't, before him, that is.

"I had scoffed most of the offers of help I'd been given, but I pulled together the money I could – Lady Teodorie turned me out when I went to see her, because I'd gone and gotten myself pregnant like she'd told me not to. She forbade me to see my siblings, and to even go the my lord's house. But Goodwin and Tunstall were so helpful, to the point where they let me stay at one of their homes when I didn't have enough, and once I had gotten so far along that I couldn't find any sort of work that I could actually do," she said. "Goodwin helped me so much, and after Alex was born, she watched him during the day when I would try to find some sort of work…." She trailed off, fighting tears again.

"But I couldn't stay there too long – while she and her husband are well enough on their own, I was a burden, and I knew it," she said. Rosto opened his mouth to ask a question but she silenced him. "They were very kind to me, and I had enough saved by that point that I could live on my own. I moved into the apartment I was at before I came to you, and you can guess the rest of the story," Beka told him.

"Beka…" Rosto trailed off, a sad look on his face. He stopped, unable to think of anything comforting to say. She sighed. She was glad that the weight on her chest had lightened, but Beka still wasn't sure that telling Rosto had really been the right thing to do.

Then again, she hadn't really seen Ersken, since he'd been so busy, and he'd been her closest friend when she had been in the Dogs. But then, he'd made a point to ignore her shyness and be her friend, whereas she hadn't really allowed herself to make friends for the most part _because _of that blasted shyness. Rosto, Aniki, and Kora had done sort of the same thing – they'd made their way past the shield, and become friends with her because they liked her. Well, except for Rosto and his insistence that she needed a man and that _he_ was the one she needed.

But now, here he was, sitting next to her, listening to her when she needed to get it out, and actually caring. Maybe he really did care about her, even after he'd hated her for the last few years.

One thing she couldn't figure out, though, was that, if he had hated her, why hadn't he sent a rusher after her, or anything like that? He was the Rogue, after all, and had Rats at his beck and call. Maybe, deep down, he had still cared. Or maybe not. Maybe he just hadn't bothered, or it was because they had once been friends, like they were again, now that the reasons that they hadn't been seemed to have been removed.

"I am certainly sorry, Beka." It was Rosto's voice, snapping her out of her thoughts. "I…I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that. But I'm glad you're here now," he said. Beka looked up at his dark, dark brown eyes for a moment, and looked away almost immediately.

"So am I," she admitted after a long silence. "I appreciate what you've done for me," she added. "It was very kind of you."

"It's no more than I would do if Kora or Ersken came to me for help," he replied. In truth, though, he wanted to say more, but he knew that what he was feeling was wrong – for the moment, at least. He'd made promises to Viviana, and he wasn't going to break them, or even push Beka toward that. The feelings were irrational and unwelcome – he would rather have dealt with the remnants of those feelings when he had stopped chasing Beka. That had been years ago, the last attempt being three years after the Port Caynn incident, and that had been seven years before. Rosto was now in his early thirties, and Beka in her late twenties. They had both changed a great deal. Half the time, Rosto didn't think he even knew Beka anymore when he heard her talking about things with Viviana.

There was a point, though, where he did wonder - if things had turned out differently after one of those cases - the Shadow Snake, Port Caynn, or any of the others – would their lives be any different. Would Beka be happy then? Would he have been different, even?

"Rosto? Are you all right?" Beka's voice suddenly penetrated his thoughts. Rosto glanced at her with a strange expression on his face.

"Uh, yes, I am. I was just thinking," he said.

"Mama! Hungry!" Alex suddenly piped up from his crib. He was looking at Beka and Rosto expectantly and almost seemed like he was disappointed in them for delaying his breakfast. More than likely, he was. Rosto chuckled and got up, walking over to the crib with Beka on his heels. He looked down at the toddler, raising his eyebrows. Alex grinned impishly at him until Beka picked him up again.

"Come on, let's get you some breakfast," she said, smiling at her son for a moment. When she looked back at Rosto, what she saw startled her. He was watching her, and the expression on his face was completely unguarded and full of immense caring. Beka's eyes met his for a moment before she looked away and blushed.

When she looked back, he was gone. She could hear his footsteps retreating down the hallway, toward the stairs. One thing she would say – Rosto had a way of making her feel so many things that she didn't know what to feel, and he was definitely the most confusing man she had ever met.

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**Posted 8/10/09**


	3. Better

**A/N: Long time no update...whoops? I sort of got stuck a few paragraphs in and couldn't get unstuck until about a few weeks ago. But, there's a nice sized update to make up for the wait. There won't be another one for a little while, since I'm participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, where you write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days), and that's taking up all of my writing time at the moment, since I'm a little farther behind than I'd like to be. But, there will be an update as soon as I've got it written and ready to post. On the plus side, Bright Eyes is getting an update, too. On the plus side, most of you should be pretty pleased about what is resolved in this chapter (no pun intended) despite the lack of the called for character death. But, I did give you what you (and I) wanted. So, anyway, don't forget to leave me a review and let me know what you think!

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Rosto the Piper was not having a good day. Three weeks had passed since he and Beka had had the conversation before breakfast. And they had not been a good three weeks.

It wasn't because of Viviana or Beka in particular, but between the two of them and all of the other things that had been going on, Rosto was quite frustrated. His thoughts were going every direction possible, and more. He had a lot of work to keep up with, and he was in a very bad mood.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he sat at his desk. His dark eyes scanned the paper in his hand as he stared at it, wishing that it would just go away. He wasn't pleased by the incomes from some of the other cities. Mainly, it was because those were the ones that were flourishing despite the harsh summer.

It was particularly annoying now that Rosto was trying to work out the figures, and things were really adding up they way they should have. With the way the economy had been fluctuating, he was losing coin no matter what he did – the copper coins worth less even while the silver and gold ones seemed to rise in value, and most of what he was getting was in copper and silver.

Rosto's head was starting to pound now, as he stared at the sheet and so many other things were running through his mind. He made a noise of annoyance and threw the paper down, his hand returning to his pale blond hair. He also had a group of turncoats in his Court that he had to deal with, and that was going to be a pain.

He was more than annoyed about everything that was going on, and to top it all off, Beka was getting on his nerves and Viviana was acting strange. The former of the two had been pestering him to let her pay a higher rent (so that she didn't feel like she was taking charity from him) for a week. He'd been avoiding her for the last two days, but it wasn't helping. She had come to see him earlier that afternoon when he had been working.

Viviana was another matter entirely. She had been acting more and more distant in the last week. He barely saw her during the day, and she was never around when he wanted to ask her about it. He had tried to catch her before she had gone to sleep, but by the time he'd been able to get free, she'd gone to sleep already. It made him crazy, because no one would give him a moment's peace or talk to him when he wanted to talk to them.

Finally, Rosto picked up the paper again and put it in the pile of papers sitting at his right hand. He pulled out another one, and glanced over it. He rolled his eyes at that one and shook his head at that one. It was from Kora, telling him all about the new house she and Ersken had finally saved enough to buy and move into. She wasn't able to come see him in person because their little girl had been keeping her so busy she had barely had time to write the letter. Kora's tone throughout the whole thing almost made Rosto laugh. He missed them.

Then there was a knock on his door. Rosto paused and put Kora's letter down. He rose from his desk and walked over to the door, opening it with a slightly annoyed expression on his face. Beka stood there, her son on her hip. Rosto looked at her for a moment, then rolled his eyes.

"No, I'm not letting you pay any more," he told her before she could open her mouth. "You pay enough as it is. Stop asking." Beka pursed her lips.

"That isn't why I came down here," she told him dryly. Rosto waited for her to go on, his head tilted ever so slightly.

"Then why did you come down here?" he asked irately.

"I was looking for Vi. She wanted to know if I wanted to go shopping with her this afternoon, but I didn't get a chance to answer her at the time. I was wondering if she'd left yet," Beka said. There was silence for a moment.

"I haven't the faintest clue where Viviana went. I haven't seen her since she left the room this morning," he said with a shrug. "For that matter, I haven't seen her for more than five minutes in the whole of the last week. If you want to find her, look elsewhere," he added. He moved to close the door, but Beka stuck her foot in the way.

"What is your problem, Rosto?" she demanded. Her expression was indignant, and her blue-grey eyes were hard. Her son burst into tears at that exact moment. Rosto sighed in frustration.

"Nothing. I have work to do," Rosto snapped. "And I don't need any nosey ex-Dogs getting into my business." Beka let out a huff.

"You needn't be rude, Rosto the Piper. I was only being nice. Now you've gone and made Alex cry. Thank you ever so much," she replied sarcastically. She turned her attention away from the Rogue and attempted to comfort her son. Rosto glared at her and slammed the door after she ever so kindly removed the impediment.

Rosto crossed his arms over his chest as he sat down at his desk again. He was not pleased. To be more precise, he was fuming. How was it that Beka Cooper of all people could make him so mad just by talking to him? That was a mystery that was simply beyond him at that moment.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. It wouldn't do him any good to be angry over this. It would only make the situation worse, and it would only make Beka push harder. It would only drive her and Viviana away, neither of whom he wanted to drive away.

The sound of footsteps on the hardwood reached his ears a few moments later. He opened his eyes to see Viviana opening the door. She glanced at him and smiled softly, then walked over to the clothespress. Rosto watched her for a few moments. Even after more than a year, he still admired her. Her red hair gleamed in the sun that filtered in through the window as he watched. Viviana didn't notice his gaze until she turned around to look for something. She put her hands on her hips and tilted her head.

"Yes, Rosto?" she inquired, raising an elegantly curved eyebrow. Rosto smirked at her.

"I was just wondering where you've been the last few days. I haven't seen much of you lately," he said. Viviana sighed.

"I've been busy, dearest," she told him, a slight smile playing on her lips. "I've got something I want to talk to you about later," she added. "But not now, Rosto." He blinked at her.

"So, you're not going to tell me?"

"Not now," Viviana said. "I've got to go see my sister over in Unicorn District." Rosto sighed as he got to his feet. He sauntered over to her and kissed her on the cheek.

"All right, then. I'm not going to forget this, though," he told her sternly. Viviana chuckled.

"Of course not. You never forget anything, do you, Rosto?" she teased. Rosto smirked at her.

"Of course I don't. I wouldn't be any good as the Rogue if I did," he replied. Viviana shook her head, then picked up one of the trinkets she had pulled out of the jewelry box on the clothespress. She slipped it into his hand. When he looked at it, he saw that it was a simple charm he'd never seen before. It had two cut stones in it, each cut plainly in half.

One half was practically black, but it glittered with inner light. Rosto frowned at it. Then his eyes fell on the other half of the charm. It was a pale blue sapphire. His frown deepened. He looked up to ask Viviana about it, but she had already disappeared. Rosto stood there for a few moments. He was so confused. What was wrong with her?

Rosto sighed and put the charm down on his desk, glancing over at the window for a moment. After a moment, he sat down at the desk again, pulling papers out once more. _At least,_ he thought, _the numbers don't have attitudes. _

By the time Rosto was done, it was nearly time for the Court of the Rogue to gather. He rose from his seat, wandering over to the window. He could see the stream of people that trickled in from the street. With a sigh, Rosto left the room, heading for the stairway.

The instant he reached the bottom of the stairs, the sudden silence that had come upon his appearance exploded in a roar. Several rushers moved toward him, questions written on their faces. There was a sound from behind Rosto that made him tense automatically. When there was no immediate danger, he ignored it for a moment. With the sudden rush of questions, he didn't need to seem panicky. That would only lead to bad things.

After several moments, the scarred Rogue managed to push his way through the crowd to his throne, where he could have a moment's peace. Or, where he thought he could have a moment's peace. Still, multiple voices bombarded him. He made a motion that should have quieted them down, but no one even bothered to comply. Rosto had already been having a bad day, but that just irritated him even more. A few moments later, he saw Viviana by the door. Her lips were pursed as she looked at him with her eyebrows raised. He had had enough.

"QUIET!" Rosto bellowed. He glared at the rushers around him. "Thank you," he said curtly a moment later. "Now if you want to talk to me, sit down and come up one by one. I can't hear all of you at once."

They all stood there in shock for a moment before Viviana pushed her way through the small crowd.

"I'd speak to you first, Majesty," she said quietly. Rosto nodded to her. There was outrage on the faces of a few of the rushers. "Alone," Viviana added. That caused a frown to appear on the Rogue's face.

"Anything you wish to say to me as such can be said in front of my Court," he reminded her. If Viviana wanted to talk to him in private as the Rogue, she knew that wouldn't happen, even in her position as Queen of the Ladies of the Rogue.

"Rosto…" she warned, giving him a rebuking look with her brown eyes. Rosto's jaw tightened.

"I will not be chastised in front of my own court, even by my queen," he snapped.

"Fine. It's over," Viviana told him calmly. Rosto was halfway out of his seat before anyone else even reacted.

"_What?!?_" he demanded. "Viviana!"

"You did say that anything I wished to say to you could be said in front of the Court," she pointed out innocently. Rosto's eyes narrowed as he stared at her.

"That is a private matter, not something to be spouted like that," he replied crossly.

"Then lets talk about it privately," Viviana said. Rosto continued to look at her for a moment.

"Fine. You don't have long, though," he said, rising to his feet.

"However long you give me will be enough," she replied diplomatically.

Rosto led her toward the door to a private room, but stopped when he caught a good view of the stairway again. He stopped and stared at the scene in front of him for a split-second before he crossed his arms over his chest.

"And what to do we have here?" he asked innocently. Beka peered down at him. She was carrying a crate that looked as though it had things from her room in it. Rosto bristled at that.

"Nothing. I'm bringing a box down so that I can put it in the back until tomorrow, when I move all of my things out," Beka replied. Rosto's eyes narrowed.

"Why is that?" he asked, trying to make his voice calm.

"Because I won't take charity from you, Master Rogue. As you've said before, once a Dog, always a Dog. I don't take charity from the Thief-King," she told him coldly. Rosto glared at her.

"It's not charity!" he snapped. "Does it look like I have any other tenants? No. I don't. So, how would you know if I charged you more or less than what they would pay?"

"Because you've never charged me fairly, and you know that perfectly well, Rosto," Beka said. "Now move over, I need to get down the stairs."

"No. You're to go back upstairs with that, and we'll talk about it in a few moments. Will that satisfy you?" he asked.

"It will not," Beka said. "I'm moving out, and that's final."

"And what about your son? Will you raise him in the slums? Will he grow up like you did? The way you keep saying you don't want him to grow up?" Rosto asked coldly. Beka froze.

"Stop it. Mind your own business, Piper," she snapped at him.

"You are my business," he growled. Viviana put her hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off.

"Rosto-" she started, only to be cut off.

"No. I will talk to you in a minute," he said. "Beka, listen to reason, at least."

"Leave me alone, Rosto!" Beka exclaimed.

"Beka. Go back upstairs. I will talk to you in a moment," Rosto ordered coldly. He turned to look at Viviana. "You'll get your turn," he told her. Then he turned on his heel and pushed through the crowd in front of the door. He was absolutely fuming, and he wasn't even sure if he'd done a decent job of hiding that fact. And if he was completely honest with himself, he didn't care. He had the right to be upset! Viviana was trying to break things off and Beka was trying to leave, just like she had before.

Rosto walked down the streets of the Lower City, heading for one of the bridges over the Olorun River. He had always loved watching water rush by at a fast pace or a slow one. He wasn't that fond of water otherwise, but it was calming, and it always took him away from the injustices done to him and what he had done.

A chill ran down his back as he approached the river. It was a cool autumn night now, and there was a nip to the air. Not that he usually felt it. Growing up so far north, Rosto had gotten used to the cold at a young age – it rarely bothered him in the mild winters of Tortall. It was slightly unnerving for Rosto to notice that the very mild chill bothered him, but it could have just been what was going on. Or so he hoped.

He stopped when he stood in the highest point of the bridge, leaning on the banister. The rushing water was calming, just as it usually was. It also caused him to think more than usual. He just didn't understand why things were happening as they were. He had finally gotten to be on good terms with Beka – as Viviana had been urging. Now, Viviana seemed set on leaving him for some unknown reason, and Beka wanted to move out of the Dove. They wanted to leave him alone. Again.

Rosto had been alone for a long time after Beka had left. After the Port Caynn incident, he had waited for an opportune moment to win Beka. But the opportunity had never come. She had continually rebuffed his attempts to so much as flirt with her. So much so that he had finally just given up on her. He had been so alone, then. Aniki had been with Phelan for some time by then, and Kora and Ersken were married at that point. It hadn't been until two years before that Rosto had finally found another mot he was attracted to. Aniki had been ecstatic for him at the time. She'd hated to see him alone for those years after he'd given up pursuing Beka, though he had repeatedly told her that he didn't mind being alone so much.

Now they were doing it to him again. And this time, he didn't have his best friend there to comfort him. He had no one to even talk to this time. Aniki was dead, and there was really no one else he would turn to – she had been his best friend. He hadn't quite gotten over her death, though it had been more than a year and a half since that raid.

He sighed as he stared at the water, shaking his head. This was not what he had wanted when he had come here. When Rosto the Piper had come to Corus, he had been looking for a good time, possibly a little power. He had gotten more than he had wished for, and he had lost just as much. The Rogue's throne was a heavy burden, and it wasn't one that he could give up without death. It also made him very morbid at times, he noted. His thoughts had begun to drift toward the inevitable end again.

After several more moments, Rosto turned away from the bridge. There was only so long he could run away from his problems, even to calm himself before he dealt with them. He would have to do so either way.

Rosto walked back to the Dove with a much calmer mind and a cooled temper. There was loud chatter in the inn when he entered the building. It seemed that everyone around him went quiet the instant he walked in. As usual. He looked around for a half-second, spotting Viviana sitting only a few yards away from him. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she looked irate. Rosto winced as her glare fell on him. He walked over to her, knowing that she was going to be mad at him.

"I'm sorry about that outburst," he said quietly. Viviana continued to glower at him.

"You should be apologizing to Beka," she reminded him. "I'll forgive you, but she might not."

"I will," Rosto said. "But didn't you want to talk about something?" he asked. Viviana nodded and rose gracefully, the folds of her soft jade-colored dress swishing around her.

"Yes. In private, as I said, Rosto," she told him. Rosto nodded, then took her hand and led her to the room he had intended to speak to her in before he had gotten distracted. He closed the door behind her and offered her a seat at the table. Viviana smiled at him and took the offered seat.

"Will you tell me what this is all about?" Rosto asked softly. Viviana nodded.

"Of course I will. I'm going to be completely honest with you, Rosto. I owe you that much," she said. Rosto forced a half smile and inclined his head to her as he sat down in the chair next to her.

"Start with what you were going to tell me that was blurted out…" he told her. Viviana nodded again, letting out a sigh.

"I want this to be over, Rosto," she said quietly. Her voice shook a little, Rosto noticed, and her lower lip quivered. Already tears stung his own eyes.

"You want to end it?" he asked, his tone just as soft. "Why?"

"Because it would be better for both of us, Rosto. It would be better if both of us were free…" she said. A tear slipped down Viviana's cheek as she looked at Rosto.

"Better? How can you say that? I've never wronged you, Vi. I've always done my best by you, and I've never let you down," Rosto pointed out.

"It's better this way, Rosto. It just is," Viviana tried to say. She was having a hard time letting the real reason go. Rosto could tell that well enough.

"Why is it better this way, Vi?" he asked. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because I've seen the way you look at her," she said finally.

"Who?" Rosto prompted.

"Beka. I've seen the way you look at her, Rosto. It's a way you've never looked at me. I know you. You love her," Viviana said. Rosto stared at her.

"I…I gave up on Beka a long time ago. I chased her for almost five years, and she turned me away every time. She is my friend, but nothing more," he said. "I love you, Vi." Viviana shook her head.

"No, Rosto. I know you better than that. You love her. You may not know it, but you still love her. Even after all of the bitterness and anger you had to let go, you still love her. You never stopped. I've seen it in your eyes. It's not that I don't love you – I do. But when you love someone enough, sometimes you have to let them go. I know that Beka loves you, too, though she's scared. She won't admit it, but I know she does. Do you…understand what I'm saying, Rosto?" she asked. Rosto was looking at her with an odd expression on his face. After several moments, he nodded.

"I think I do. I just don't understand why you're breaking it off with me when me and Beka ending up together is a ridiculous notion that will never happen," he told her.

"It's not ridiculous," Viviana argued. "I can see it in your eyes, and in hers. You two are meant for each other, and I'm only in the way. And besides, you know we can't last forever. We work well enough together, but it's not the passion either of us long for." His lips pursed as he watched her, then Rosto sighed, shaking his head.

"All right," he said finally. "All right…as you wish. We'll part ways," he said.

"As friends?" Viviana asked. Rosto nodded.

"As friends," he agreed. "I'm sorry that this has to end, Viviana. I'm going to miss you," he said sadly. Viviana smiled at him.

"I'm still going to be here, Rosto," she said. "I just won't be your mot. I'm going to move in with my sister, but I'll be back. I've two good friends here at the Dove, as it is," she said.

"That you do. And you're always welcome here, Vi, so long as I am the Rogue, and this inn remains in the hands I intend to have it in if I am not," Rosto replied. He forced a smile for her, though they both knew that this hurt. It hurt for both of them, but it was the right thing for now. They had both enjoyed being together, but Rosto knew she was right. He did love Beka, despite all that had happened. He couldn't deny it now that Viviana had said it. She was right. She usually was right about him.

Rosto opened the door for her after they had both regained their composure. Viviana gave him a weak smile before she disappeared into the crowd. Rosto sighed. He still had to go talk to Beka. He watched the rushers and other folk of the Rogue for a few moments, then decided that he could leave them unsupervised for a little while longer. It wasn't as if anything bad had happened in his absence. All that had really happened is that they had more to gossip about now.

Turning back to the stairway, he made his way up, hoping that Beka had listened to him and gone back to her room. He paused outside her door, trying to get his thoughts together. He could hear her and her son in the room, which was a good sign. After another moment, he knocked on the door and waited. It was not long before Beka opened it. Alex was sitting on her bed, holding one of his toys. Beka frowned at Rosto.

"What do you want, Rosto?" she asked. Rosto sighed.

"I want you to stay."

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**A/N: So, what do you think? let me know! I love reviews!**

**Posted 11/4/09  
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	4. Break

**Long time no see…my apologies for the lack of updates on this story. I had burnout for a while, then writer's block, and when I finally did get it done, by beta took two months to read through it because she was on vacation and was very busy. Either way, I'm fairly pleased with this chapter. This story isn't going to be as long as I initially thought and I've gotten it all written. I should be able to update in about a week, as it were. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this long overdue update. Don't forget to review!

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Beka Cooper let out a sigh as she walked down the street. There was one thought that was constantly plaguing her as Viviana let her from shop to shop. What in the world had she been thinking leaving Alex in Rosto's care? Really? Now that she thought about it more, it was probably not what she should have done. Rosto was not exactly the best person with children from what she could tell. He had a knack for helping her with Alex from time to time, but leaving them alone…

She was starting to think that it had not been a good idea. When Viviana drew her over to a particular merchant a few moments later, she amended that thought. That was a very, very bad idea.

"What's got you in such a bundle?" Viviana asked, tilting her head slightly. She watched her friend for a moment, studying Beka's expression. After knowing Beka for nearly a year, Vi had developed the ability of being able to read the other woman's body language with ease. Beka sighed, shaking her head.

"I shouldn't have left Alex with Rosto," she said. Vi rolled her eyes.

"Alex will be fine with Rosto," she assured Beka. "Rosto would never let anything happen to your son while he was watching Alex. He cares, Beka. You know that he cares about you," she added.

Beka nodded, biting her lower lip as Vi returned to browsing the merchant's wares. A moment later, she held up a necklace to Beka, who eyed it warily. It was a bird carved in an onyx stone.

"What do you think of this?" Vi asked her. There was a pause before Beka shrugged.

"It's pretty enough," she replied. Vi made a face at her, putting the piece of jewelry down. "What?"

"Don't worry about Rosto and Alex. Rosto will take good care of him," she repeated. "This is supposed to be fun, Beka…" The other woman shrugged again, her face coloring a little.

"I'm sorry, Vi," she said. "I just have to wonder about it – I don't usually let people watch him for me anymore. It makes me nervous."

"But you can trust Rosto," Vi reminded her. "He's come a long way since the day you came to the Dove."

"That is true," Beka admitted. "But that doesn't change the fact that I worry about my son," she pointed out. "That's what mothers do, Vi."

Vi let out a sigh, shaking her head at Beka. She was less than thrilled by the interaction between Beka and Rosto at this point. She had spent several months watching the two of them deny any and all attraction – and friendship – between themselves.

In her mind, one would have thought that they would have at least acknowledged their friendship of all things, even if the past made an irreconcilable difference between the two of them for some dimwitted reason. Perhaps Rosto had all but admitted it to himself, but Beka was another story entirely. She was as stubborn as a mule, and despite Rosto's request for her to stay, she wanted little to do with the King of the Rogue who had been her friend once upon a time.

Beka had lived at the Dove for almost a year now. It was just her, Rosto, and Alex in the inn, and most of the time, it did not seem so bad to Vi. However, that might have only been what she saw. Viviana knew that things were not what was seen on the surface. That was just how the two of them were.

"I'm aware of that, Beka," she responded. "But you can trust Rosto. You did before. He's a good man, Rogue or not." Beka didn't seem to be paying much attention to her as she spoke, but the last sentence caused a slight change in the former Dog's stance.

"I know. You don't have to tell me that," Beka said softly. She looked away from her friend, her eyes fixed distantly on something at another stall. A moment later, Viviana stepped in front of her. Her pretty face held an expression that Beka could not quite place.

"Obviously, I do," she responded. Her voice was colored by annoyance and…was that desperation? Beka shook her head at the other woman, a slightly annoyed look appearing on her face.

"No, you don't, Vi," she argued. "I know he's a good man, but I don't want to be involved with him or anyone else right now…I need to take care of my son before I even consider that."

Vi let out a frustrated sigh, flicking long strands of red hair over her shoulder. This was ridiculous. She had left Rosto because she had known that he loved Beka, and she was sure that Beka loved him, too. She had seen the two of them together enough to be able to tell that they were both fighting the attraction until then. Rosto had stopped fighting it, then. They had talked about it a great deal over the course of the next few months. It was Beka that was in denial.

"Alex needs a father figure, Beka," Vi told her. "If you don't let Rosto in, he's going to grow up without one, if I'm taking what you've said at surface value."

Beka was silent for a long moment after that. She refused to look Viviana in the eye. The other woman had a point, but Beka wasn't exactly sure that she could handle Rosto trying to romance her again.

A part of her still believed (very strongly believed, if she was completely honest with herself) that they should not be together. He was on the opposite side of the law, even if she wasn't a Dog anymore. Many things were still the same. He was still a rusher. Rosto might have been a good man, but that did not change what he was, or that he was in a dangerous position constantly. Being with him would put her in danger, too. And worse, it would put Alex in danger, the very thing she was trying her hardest not to do.

"Beka?" Vi's voice jerked her out of her thoughts then. The red-haired woman was watching her with concern.

"I'm fine. Just thinking. Would you mind if we went shopping another day?" she asked. Vi nodded, sighing faintly.

"Go ahead. We can do this some other time," she replied. Beka smiled faintly at her.

"Thank you," she said, moving over to give her friend a hug. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

Vi nodded. "Of course you will," she assured Beka with a smile. "I'll see you then."

Beka's smile widened. "Goodbye, Vi," she called as she turned and moved away.

"Goodbye," Vi replied without even thinking. She just hoped that Beka would see things the way that she needed to. The denial wasn't right. At least, she thought, it wasn't to her. They belonged together.

Beka walked back to the Dove as rapidly as she could. Her mind was working faster than her feet, but all she wanted was to go back home.

She caught herself there, stopping almost mid-step when she realized what she had just thought. Home. The Dove. That was what it had become between the time she had moved in and now. That was where her son had grown up. He was walking and talking now, active and enjoying his life there.

He had no idea what was going on. He was simply happy. He knew that his mother cared for him, and he looked up to Rosto. She had caught the blond Rogue showing him how to hold a dagger a few weeks ago – and she had thought nothing of it at the time. Rosto had just been showing the lad (however young he was) how to defend himself if something happened.

Vi was right, she realized. Alex needed a father-figure, and Rosto seemed to have stepped in to fill it without her even knowing. The other woman had wanted to make a point about Rosto, but Beka had not wanted (and still did not want to, if she was entirely honest) have anything to do with it.

She wanted to stay out of any Rogue business whatsoever. That included any involvement with the Rogue himself. Even if he was her friend, they could be nothing more than that. Ever.

She frowned slightly; her thoughts flew every which way, no matter how hard she tried to rein them in. One moment, she was glad Rosto was there, the next she wanted nothing to do with him.

Shaking her head, Beka walked on. Trying to make sense out of the jumble in her head was like when Vi had tried to get Rosto to sing for her. Very, very difficult, and undoubtedly not going to happen.

She started back to the Dove again, trying to at least remove the treacherous thoughts from her mind. She was not interested in dealing with them. However, when she pushed the door to the inn open, she realized that she could no longer avoid them.

A very distinctly, slightly accented voice echoed lightly from the kitchen. There was no mistaking that voice, no matter how hard she wanted to try. She walked toward the kitchen, a faint frown creasing her forehead.

An instant later, a giggling squeal cut through the air. The next thing she heard was the sound of Rosto protesting something and then rapid footsteps. Another shriek sounded as Alex came flying out of the kitchen. He dashed past her without even realizing that she was there. Rosto was only half a second behind the little boy.

"Come back here!" he called after Alex. His tone was nothing but playful. Her son giggled and dashed off around a table as Rosto chased after him. He caught Alex a moment later. The boy shrieked happily as Rosto hoisted him into the air.

Rosto was laughing, a genuine smile on his face. It took away a degree of harshness to see him smiling like that. The ragged white scar that ran across his face did not have quite the same look to it when he was happy.

Alex continued to giggle as Rosto removed something from his hand. The Rogue proceeded to put Alex down and reach up to pull his long blond hair out of the way once more. It seemed that her son had confiscated his caretaker's hair tie in an attempt at a game. Then Alex saw her.

"Mama!" he shrieked. He raced over to her, colliding with her before she could kneel to catch him. Beka grinned at him. He greeted her as though she had been gone for months rather than only an hour.

Rosto hung back, shifting his weight to one side as he crossed his arms over his chest. As Beka looked up at him, her smile slowly diminished.

"You don't trust me with him, do you?" he asked.

Anger flashed in his dark eyes as he looked at her, searching her face for an answer. Beka was silent for a long moment, trying to figure out exactly what she was going to say. She did not want to – could not – tell him that Vi was insisting on playing matchmaker for the two of them.

When she failed to respond, Rosto whirled and stalked over to the stairs, without a backward glance. He took them two at a time, disappearing from her sight before she could even get a word out of her mouth. Beka sighed, knowing that he was probably going to sulk. That was what he usually did when he was angry.

Alex looked up at her with concern on his young face. "Mama, what's wrong?" he asked. Beka looked back at him, biting her lip as she thought about her answer.

"Nothing, my lad," she replied. "Rosto is just sad that he doesn't get to play with you anymore," she told him. Alex frowned at her.

"Mama, are you sure?" he asked. Beka smiled slightly, nodding to him.

"I'm sure, Alex," she said. "Why don't we go upstairs, too? I'll find you something to do, and we can go see Rosto."

Her son nodded, moving away from her to head to the stairs. Beka's smile returned. He was such a good lad. He was only three and he was jumping to please his mother at any turn he got. Almost anyone who met him thought it was the cutest thing.

That smile still in place, she walked over to where Alex was starting up the stairs and picked him up. Her son let out a loud giggle, squirming in her arms.

It only took her a moment to find him something to do in her room. That in hand, she took the lad back down the stairs with her, hoping that Rosto had not disappeared, and that he would allow her to talk to him again.

She shifted Alex to one hip to knock on the door to Rosto's room. It was a moment before she heard her friend's light footsteps. The door opened enough for her to be able to see part of his face. Rosto looked more annoyed and distracted than anything else.

"What do you want, Beka? I don't have time for this," he said. "I have work to do."

"I know," Beka said simply. "Can I come in?" Rosto peered warily at her for a few seconds before he sighed and moved away from the door to let her in. He gave her a very irritated look as he closed the door behind her. She put Alex down in the corner with his toys and turned to look at him.

"So, what have you come for this time? To rub it all in? To tell me that you've found someone and you're moving in him? What news has the glorious Terrier brought for the lowly Rogue?" he demanded derisively. Beka bit the inside of her cheek. He was very angry.

"Rosto, stop it," she replied shortly. He glared at her until she shook her head at him. "This is ridiculous! We shouldn't be fighting!"

"Fair words coming from you," Rosto retorted. Beka gave him a look.

"I know. I'm one to talk. But I can't keep doing this, Rosto. I'm sick of us fighting like this. It does not help anything, and it only upsets everyone," she told him, shaking her head. "If you're going to act like this, I _will_ find somewhere else to live. Somewhere where my son does not have to hear his mother shouting at someone at all hours of the day and night."

Rosto frowned at her for a long moment, his dark brown eyes narrowed. "So you can do what? Run off and throw yourself at someone else? I think not. I'd rather deal with it this way," he told her. Beka made a frustrated noise. It was taking all of her self-control not to hit him just then.

"I'm not throwing myself at anyone, Rosto. I never did-"

"Dale Rowan and Dyrian Nath. Yeah, you did," he interjected. The tone of his voice made her wince. There was nothing but a bitter coldness in it.

"I'm sorry, Rosto," she said softly. "I'm not trying to hurt you, and I'm not trying to run away. I don't like what happened to us in the past any more than you do. Most of it was senseless, and I know that you did not deserve it, even if what you've done was considered."

"You make it seem like I'm only cold, only cruel, and only the Rogue," he replied. "Yes, I have done many, many things in my life that I'm not proud of. Yes, I have killed without thought, in self-defense and for other reasons. But that's not all of who I am, Beka. It never has been. You just don't want to see it," he continued. "Now, if you wouldn't mind, I would like to get some work done before my court meets."

"Rosto, stop it!" Beka exclaimed finally. "I am so sick of you doing this!"

"Doing what, exactly? Trying to be free of this? Do you want to know why we stopped bring friends, Beka? I can tell you why, and I know that you wouldn't like it at all," he snapped. She frowned at him, creases forming on her forehead.

"What…?" She trailed off, her confusion very plain. Rosto fumed, his nostrils flaring slightly. If it had not been for the tension in the room and the seriousness of their conversation, Beka might have found it amusing. As it was, she did not think that it was funny. She was rather disturbed if she was being honest.

"You don't get it, do you?" Rosto asked softly. His voice was scathing, despite its softness.

"No, I don't, Rosto," Beka snapped. "I don't understand what you're trying to say because you're expecting me to read your mind! I am not a mind reader! You can't just expect me to know exactly what you're thinking at any time!" she added. "Get over yourself."

"This isn't about me, Beka," Rosto snarled in return. "This is about you. We stopped being friends because you kept kicking me in the gut when I was down. Every time I turned around, there you were, doing something else that made you absolutely unattainable. The Dogs, being courted by someone else, everything you did. You were the one who stopped coming to see me and the others. You were the one who rejected me so fully that I knew I had no chance whatsoever with you, no matter what I did.

"And what happened not long after I gave up? You came waltzing back in here as if nothing had changed. I'm sick of being treated as if I'm your friend one minute and your worst enemy the next. Stay here for all I care, just stop it," he said finally. He still looked very angry, Beka noticed.

"Are you done?" she asked him blandly. He glared at her in silence, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No, I am not done. I'm not going to be done until you leave," he informed her a few moments later. Beka let out a frustrated growl.

"You see, this is what you do! This is what you always do! You don't get your way, so you sulk!" she snapped at him. He made a face at her.

"You-"

"Don't even start that, Rosto," Beka said. He blinked at her for a moment. He was a little shocked that she had cut him off.

"Fine. Talk, then," he replied. Beka let out a sigh, shaking her head as she took a few steps in one direction.

"Okay, Rosto, I give up," she said finally. Her voice was soft, a little distant even.

"What?"

"I give up. You were right. You were always right. You once told me that you cared about me as more than a friend. I've spent the last decade denying it. I give up. You were right about the whole thing. Are you happy about that?" she asked. Rosto frowned at her. He did not quite understand what she was saying. Beka paused, taking a cue from his expression.

"I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm so sick of fighting now. I'm sick of all of this. I just want a good life for Alex…" she trailed off, pausing for just a moment. "You're not all bad, I know. I just hope that you'll forgive me for everything I've done to you," she continued.

Rosto watched her for a long moment, all of the gears in his head turning. She was actually admitting that she had been wrong. She wanted forgiveness from him – _him_, Rosto the Piper, the King of Thieves.

That was not what he had expected at all.

Every little bit of the wall he had tried to put between them came crashing down. No matter how frustrated he had become, she was still Beka, and he still loved her. His anger evaporated as he watched her. She did not look hopeful. She knew that he did not forgive easily. She _knew_. And yet, she had asked for it anyway. She looked away, her eyes landing on her son for a moment.

Then Rosto reached out and touched her hand. Her head snapped up to look at him. They stood in silence for a long moment before he threaded his fingers through hers, drawing her hand up to his mouth. He kissed her knuckles softly, which made her eyes widen.

"All you had to do was ask, Beka. After this long, I'm ready to have this arguing over, to be honest…"

Beka frowned at the abrupt change in his behavior. Now _he_ was doing something she had not expected. Perhaps it was the tension in the room…or the pent-up emotions that only seemed to come out as an argument between the two of them.

"Don't do that," she said finally. "I don't like it when coves do that, Rosto."

Rosto's eyebrows rose. "You mean this?" he asked, kissing the back of her hand softly. She shivered, then gave him an annoyed look.

"Yes, that," she replied. Rosto rolled his eyes at her, but let go of her hand all the same.

"As you wish," he said, looking a little miffed. He was only playing with her, though.

"You're acting strange," she informed him a moment later.

"You said you wanted to be forgiven, Beka. Forgive and forget," he said finally.

"You are a very strange cove, Rosto the Piper," she responded, shaking her head at him.

"I know."

"No more arguing?"

"No more arguing," he confirmed.

Beka smiled faintly at him, then took a step away, moving toward her son again. Alex was not paying the least bit of attention to her or Rosto, but that was to be expected, considering that he was well occupied.

"Beka, wait." Rosto's voice made her stop, glancing back at him.

"What, Rosto?" she asked softly.

"Don't go," he replied, his voice almost as soft as hers. "Stay for a little while," he continued. She paused, searching his face for a hidden motive. With a sigh, she nodded, stepping back to where she had stood a moment before.

"Fine. I'll stay for a few minutes," she told him. "But I have things to do today."

"So be it," Rosto said. He looked a little pleased with himself, she noted. That would have to be taken care of later. He always had been a vain cove, she reminded herself. Even when he had come to Corus, she could distinctly remember how he had acted before he had taken the throne.

It had been better back then, she reminded herself. They had not reached their breaking point multiple times over then. It had just been flirting and nothing more… But only because she had not let it be more. Rosto had been rather insistent when he had first come to Corus. But they had both been much younger, then.

If she thought about it, she was lucky to even have this chance to be with him – the Rogue was a very precarious position. Seconds were the only thing that mattered when he was dueling for his throne. Only Kayfer had managed to keep it longer than Rosto among the last few Rogues.

She had been given her chance…and her second chance. Now all she had to do was stop thinking and take it. It was right there in front of her, just like it had been before.

Rosto watched her quietly, just looking at her for the long moment she spent thinking.

"You know something, Beka?" Rosto asked finally. Beka frowned slightly, looking up at him.

"What?"

"You think too much," he replied. "You need to feel, act on impulse…" he added.

Beka tilted her head slightly. She was about to open her mouth to say something when he leaned in and kissed her.

Surprise coursed through her for a split-second before she relaxed into his arms.

It felt right. She felt like she actually belonged there. This was right.

Suddenly, she did not regret any of it anymore.

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**Posted 12/17/10**


	5. Epilogue

**Here we are, finally at the end. It's been a long time - more than a year and a half - since I started this story. All I can say about it is that this is not what I envisioned it being when I started it, but I'm still happy with it. This was enjoyable to write from the beginning, and though this would not be a story of mine without a whole cartload of angst. At least I got a bit of romance in, though, right? Anyway, thank you all for reading - please don't forget to review! I love to hear what people have to say, and you never know - it might spark a new Terrier story.

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_**Eighteen years later**_

"Mama?"

A voice shook Beka from her reverie. She blinked several times, a faint ache resounding in her chest as she let the memories go. Then she looked up at the young woman who had addressed her.

The fifteen-year-old girl standing in front of her had long white-blond hair, which was neatly pulled back into a long plait. She brushed some of the fine silky hairs out of her face as she looked down at where Beka was sitting. Her brow was knit into a furrow over her dark eyes as she stood there.

"Mama?" she asked again, reaching out to touch Beka's shoulder. "Are you all right?"

Beka met her eyes, then let out a sigh, smiling faintly up at the girl. She was so much like her father in so many ways.

"I'm fine, Genevieve," she replied. Genevieve looked at Beka skeptically. There was worry in the girl's expression. "I am," Beka assured her. "I was just thinking," she added.

"What were you thinking about?" her daughter asked. There was a long pause before Beka responded.

"I was thinking about your father," she said finally. Her daughter's expression became slightly sad.

"Will you tell me about him again?"

Beka nodded, chewing on her lower lip for a few seconds. Images of Rosto flashed into her mind again, bringing with them the sorrow that came with his absence. She could see him in his full glory as the Rogue, as the man who had tenderly cared for her when she had been injured or ill, as the man she had loved, and as everything she could have wished for in a single instant.

"He was a good man, Gena," she said softly. "We had our differences, but we loved each other very much."

"Why do you always say you had your differences? You've never explained that. I know that you were a Dog once, and that Da was the Rogue, but you were out of the Dogs when you had Alex…" Gena said.

"He was the Rogue, Gena, and I was a Dog. For the longest time, I wanted nothing to do with him. I thought that, if I let him in and let myself love him, I would get hurt, like my mother did, and that I would be betraying the Dogs," Beka told her daughter. She paused, taking a breath. A faint smile curved her lips, brightening her frosted blue eyes.

"He didn't like that, but he was my friend. He gave me every change he could, and I pushed him away. I made a lot of mistakes, and so did he. It eventually came to a point where we barely knew each other. There was a lot of unrest between us after he was arrested…"

Gena's eyes were wide as she watched Beka. "Why was that?" she asked, a slight frown on her face. "It wasn't your fault…"

"He was told that I was going to help him, but I was unable to. I was kicked out of the Dogs before I found out, and I had a hard time after that. I didn't know he needed helping. He was Rosto…always in control, always cool, calm, and collected," Beka replied. She leaned back, her eyes focused on the hardwood floor. She missed Rosto so very much.

Her throat tightened with impending tears. He had been gone a long time. Yet, somehow, it still hurt. Perhaps it was the fact that she had had so little time with him. Gena did not even remember him. She had only been three when he had been killed.

Beka swallowed, shaking her head. "He needed my help, and I wasn't there to give it to him. He hated me for it. He nearly died, and he blamed me. Rightly so, too. If I hadn't been such a sarden ducknob, I would have been there to help him. I would have seen that he had been waiting for me."

She looked up to see her daughter frowning at her, her pretty face screwed up in confusion.

"He hated you?" Gena asked softly. Beka nodded. "But, I thought…"

"He did love me, Gena," Beka cut her off. "But there was a long time when I pushed him away. And he hated me for going to someone else, and for not helping him. He had every right to do so. I hurt him repeatedly," she continued softly. "Eventually, I just got myself into so much trouble that I needed help. He was the only place I could turn to.

"It took us a while, but eventually, with a little help, we admitted that we were in love with each other. Or, at least, Rosto was still in love with me, and I had finally fallen for him."

"So, you courted and married?" Gena asked. Beka smiled at her.

"Before the year was out," she replied. "We were together for six years before he died in a duel for his throne."

Gena's expression saddened. For all she had heard stories about her father from both her mother and Viviana, she wished that she had had a chance to know him. His death had come far too soon, in nearly everyone's opinion.

"I wish I had known him," she intoned softly. Beka bit her lip.

"He loved you very much, Gena. He was never so happy as when he held you for the first time. He would have done anything for you," she said softly. "His dearest wish was for you to be happy."

"Then why isn't he here?" Gena asked. Her voice was tight, signaling tears rapidly approaching. Beka could not find words for a long moment.

"Because someone took him from us. Someone wanted the power that being the Rogue entailed, and your father was in his way. He didn't want to die…"

_Rosto's face twisted in pain when the blade hit its mark. A second one pierced his thigh a moment later, forcing a cry of pain from his mouth. His face was white – truly white, pallid compared to the pale shade of his skin. _

_He dropped to one knee, his hands on the wound in his thigh. They did little to stanch the blood that was pooling under his knee._

"_If I go down, I'm taking you with me," he hissed at the man who stood over him. He moved a blood-covered hand from the wound and pulled one of his belt-knives out of its sheath. The man laughed at him when he nearly fumbled it. _

"_You couldn't if you tried," he replied softly. He saw no point in allowing the dying Rogue a merciful death. It was better that he die of the mortal wound in his thigh. Besides, if that didn't kill him, the one in his stomach would. _

_Rosto didn't reply. He gripped the knife in his hand hard enough that his knuckles were bone white on the hilt. In a lightning fast motion, so very like those he was renown for, he slashed both of his opponent's thighs, almost right where his own had been pierced. _

_The response was instantaneous. The other man yowled in agony, hitting the ground. His blood joined Rosto's on the floorboards, pooling rapidly. The knife clattered to the floor a split-second later. _

"_Watch me," Rosto hissed. The crowd around them stood frozen as the Rogue collapsed, his chest heaving. His opponent was dying a much quicker death – but then, the wounds that Rosto had dealt were far more severe, even in the state he was in. _

_He did not bother to try to stem the bleeding anymore. His world was fading fast. _No_, he amended. His world knelt next to him, her soft hands touching his face. He met her eyes, barely able to focus. _

"_Rosto…" she whispered. He swallowed, shaking his head. _

"_No. Don't," he said, his face twisted in pain. "Don't be upset. We knew this would happen."_

"_Yes, but not so soon," Beka replied softly. She stroked her thumb over his cheek. He forced a half-smile for her, but she knew it was fake. _

"_We knew it would happen. Just not when. Nothing is going to save me from this, Beka. No healer could," Rosto told her. "I love you. And Alex, and Gena. Take care of her, Bek. Make sure she knows I loved her as much as I loved you…"_

_Beka nodded, tears beginning to drip down her face. "I love you, too, Rosto," she said softly. He forced a wear smile at her, but she could see the light in his eyes fading. He was almost gone. Silently, she took his hand, holding it between both of her own. _

_Then he was gone. _

"Then why did he?" Gena demanded. Her voice was tearful, pained beyond what Beka felt it should have been.

"He didn't have a choice, Gena," she replied. "He was gone before any healer could have saved him. There was almost no chance that he could have survived a wound like the one he had been dealt.

"He should have been more careful," the fifteen-year-old said. "I never got to know him…"

"I know. I'm sorry, my darling. I am so very sorry…"

"I wish he was here," Gena added. Beka sighed, taking her daughter in her arms.

"I do, too. But he loved you, Gena. He wanted you to know that."

"I know, Mama. But I still miss him."

"I miss him, too," Beka replied softly. "I wish he was here as much as you do. I loved him more than I ever thought I could. He was there when I needed him, and that's all I could ask…"


End file.
